6 Possible Reasons Why Christian Men No Longer Want a Church Girl
Christian men, what do you want in a relationship?
With so many pastors and leaders dating and marrying women who are
not known for being “church girls”? It causes Christian women to
question, what are Christian men really looking for?
Before I begin, let me state this disclaimer: I am not judging the
men or women who are listed below. God meets each of us where we are. I
praise God that these women have confessed Jesus Christ as their Lord
and Savior.
However, for the sake of this post, I am basing my point of view on
their public persona. There are so many Christian women who desire to
be married. Due to their Christian beliefs, many find it hard to find a
man outside of the church who possess the same values and standards they
desire. So most look inside the church to meet a like-minded partner.
However, it seems as if they are the only ones. Over the past
several years, many pastors and church leaders have gone outside of the
church to meet, date and marry. Why?
I don’t believe this is a new phenomenon, however, with so many
high profile relationships, this topic is quickly causing concern.
For example, several years ago, Bishop Noel Jones was linked with actress Lisa Raye.
In 2012, Pastor and studio executive, Devon Franklin married actress and self-professed party girl Meagan Good.
In 2015 NFL player Russell Wilson, a devout Christian started
dating R& B singer Ciara. Their relationship received a lot of
public scrutiny after his announcement that they agreed to remain
celibate throughout their courtship. They married in 2016.
Pastor Jamal Bryant is currently dating R&B singer Tweet, who
was introduced to the world in 2002 with her sexually-charged song,
Oops. Tweet is now a Christian and has been deemed by Bryant as his Last
Lady, meaning she is the “one” for him.
And just a few weeks ago actress, singer and talk show host,
Adrienne Bailon celebrated her upcoming nuptials to gospel recording
artist, singer, songwriter, producer and worship leader Israel Houghton
with a Parisian-themed bridal shower.
Each of these ladies are beautiful and talented in their own right.
And truth be told, there is no way of knowing what kind of personal
connection they had with the Lord. However, none of these ladies have
been affiliated or known for their Christian beliefs or values. The
church is not lacking in the area of beautiful, talented women, so many
Christian women are likely observing these romances and asking, why are
they being overlooked?
Christian men what are you looking for? When left to our own
devices, it causes women to question and wonder why. And here are a few
theories that I’ve found currently floating around this topic:
1. Savior Complex
Could it be that some Christian men pursue women outside of the
church because of the savior complex—a man’s need to save the damsel in
distress? Could it be that men see the women in the church not needing a
savior, so they pursue women who need one?
2. Celibacy
Some Christian women are pursuing celibacy prior to marriage. Could
it be that some Christian men don’t share these same values and desire
someone who is willing to have sex prior to marriage? So they pursue
women outside of the church who share the same viewpoint?
3. Too Holy
Women in the church choose to pursue a more disciplined lifestyle
of prayer, fasting, studying the Bible, etc. Are these women too holy or
too spiritual for some Christian men? Could it be that these men don’t
want to be held to a higher level of accountability by Christian women?
Could this be the reason why some Christian men pursue a new believer or
someone who is not as mature in their faith over more mature Christian
women?
4. Party Girl
Women in the church are perceived as having no social life outside
of their church obligations. As such, they are pigeonholed as being
boring. Although this is a true statement for some, it is not true for
all. Could this general perception be the reason why Christian men
pursue women outside of the church because they want a woman who is more
lively and ready to have fun?
5. Sexual Experience
Many men have expressed their desire not to be with a virgin. Do
Christian men prefer someone who has some sexual experience over those
who have none?
6. Ministry Driven
Most women in the church are interested in cultivating their
relationship with God and, in doing so, they begin to grow and mature in
God’s purpose and plans for their lives. For some, that means
pastoring, preaching and teaching the Word of God.
Are Christian men intimated by these women because they are growing
stronger in their faith and pursuing God’s call on their life? Do they
feel their leadership or counsel will be questioned if they marry a
woman who is in ministry? Do they pursue someone less mature in their
faith to grow with?
It’s possible that some, if not all of the above are reasons why
some spiritually-mature Christian men pursue less spiritually-mature
Christian women. But men, we would love to hear from you.
Christian men, PLEASE help the single Christian women out. Why are
you choosing women outside of the church? What are you looking for? What
do you want in a mate?
*********
Comments
Post a Comment